Hey everyone this is Clarisa, call me Clar if you'd like. I'm fourteen and I'm going to be a freshman this coming September. In a few days, the 18th, it will be my third month in the cfc youth community. Conference in Jacksonville was my first conference I've attended. I'm glad this was my first conference because members of youth that went to conferences prior this one, said it was their best conference they've been to.
Anywho, I'm getting into the important school years of my life, so my goal for the summer is finding who I really am. I'm realizing that I'm starting to know my surroundings and such. I'm also in the stage where I don't want or need a boyfriend, I know a boyfriend won't get me through life. I'm realizing who I am, and who I am is not who I want to be. I noticed that before conference I've been having problems with friends. I'm the kind of girl that likes to joke around, but I can also take them seriously after a while and it would ruin my relation with the person. I'd worry so much about that person and I could find my love for them to grow more and more, but I couldn't share my love with them because we were in a fight or something that would make us isolated from each other. So yeah, since the theme was 'love' I expected this to help me and like to help me know if I'm hurting someone or not. This being my first conference, other than that, I really didn't know what to expect. All I knew was it was about love and I'd be learning about God's love for one. I was really excited for it though.
As we were driving from state to state, each time we got closer to Florida, my heart started pounding. Oh man, but when we got closer to the college, wow. For some reason that I didn't know, I was scared, but as I stepped into the dorms and saw people I knew, I was fine. So my experience during conference was straight up amazing. Although there was a lot of walking, I didn't mind because I always looked foward to the new day. Everything about it was great. Meeting new people, talks, worship, etc. just meant so much to me. To see a whole room full of different age ranges praising God, it was really just beautiful for my eyes to see. I could relate my joking around problem with a sharer, as those words came out of their mouth, all I could think about was that person that I hurt, they were actually a few seats away from me. During adoration, I really just thought about what I learned throughout those days, how much God loved me, how I could pass on the love, how thankful I am to have people who love so greatly, and all those things. I prayed for the ones I loved and thanked God for everyone in my life. I really felt his presence, I could feel him holding my hands and I was staring at his picture that was on the projector and I could see him turning to me and smiling. At that moment I was just thankful for everything, I couldn't help but smile and give him my thanks. Again during adoration, I was really thinking about everything that has happened to me and I was thinking of all that I have, the loving family, friends, and all things that make me smile. I started crying a lot, because before I was involved in the community, I've done some pretty dumb things that made me think I didn't deserve all the love I have. So I'm very thankful for all I have and I know that I shouldn't take things and like not take it to the best and waste it. When Gino was talking about parents and how they brought us into this world and like how they love us and we shouldn't debate with them because for our whole lives, they'll continue to love us no matter what. Also, when he was talking about obeying your parents and doing things right away, I'm starting to do things for them right away without talking back. So the minutes after conference was officially done, I took the time to talk to the people I met because I wouldn't see them until next conference. Tough, right ? So when we were really leave, I was going by car and most of the other youth from New Jersey was flying and I wouldn't be able to see some people because they lived in different parts of New Jersey, I really tried showing my appreciation to them because this whole experience got me closer to them and I love being with them. Then when I finally got to the person that I hurt, I saw that he was having fun with other youth members, that person finally turned to me and their face just grew dull, but as we hugged I really felt that there was hope for our friendship and it was a great feeling of renewal.
So during the car ride home, I really thought about what I learned and how I was going to take it out to my friends and family and to the world. Again, I'm obeying my parents and siblings now. I'm really trying to control myself and trying to show my love and appreciation to others around me. I'm taking back God's love. I knew that he loved me before, but now I see really how much he loves me and when the time is right where he'll give me a challenge, I'll take what I learned and use it in my best ability. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ for this wonderful experience. ♥
ONE GOD ?! ONE LOVE.
PS: first sharing ! so happy[: